I haven't posted anything in a long while, since I have been rather busy and slightly destroyed by the amount of work and studying that I have had to do in the past few weeks. Rather detrimental to my existence, however, I still appear to be functioning rather well, albeit with the twang of fatigue in me always. Good thing I can jump out of that and jump into super-woken-up Bryan version 2.13! Funnier and better looking!

Ok, onto more important life matters that I should discuss in LiveJournal. My major difficulty the past few nights has been selling potions in WoW. It's true--I'm the best alchemist this side of Azeroth, and I can't sell potions because people put up the same potions for ridiculously lower prices than what I put them up at. It's dumb, annoying, and I want to eliminate all the other alchemists on the server, so that I'm the only one left. That would be awesome, and I would make money in a flash. Also, I can't wait for Jordan to start playing on her character soon. Level one Troll mage rolling with her level 60 undead rogue escort. Safe everywhere she goes. Awesome.

I should really go to bed. I've got finals to study for, and a 10 page paper to write. Not going to be fun or easy. AHHHH! I'll be okay--I always end up being okay, which is nice. God's got amazing plans for my life, and I'm trusting in that fact more and more. It alleviates the tension of doing well in school, and ends the restrictions of my hope. It's awesome.

My advice to all for the night: drink H2O and don't eat too much chocolate.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue -- aka my room
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Sweet Silence

I have two hours before I have to go to lab today, and I'm in my room here waiting for Alex to finish shaving. I probably have another hour to wait before he's done, so I'm going to write something here. (JK) Lately I've been feeling really unsure of myself--I don't know where I'm going in life, and I don't really have a whole lot of control over things. Jordan and I had a long talk yesterday about where I am academically, and I how that correlates to my spiritual life. She made the keen comment that the way I'm feeling can be tracked to a distance from God. That about sums up the truth, since this entire semester I've felt distant from Him. My mind is so scattered, and I'm constantly working, studying, or doing something for a science class. Tired almost every day of my life, and I always feel stressed. I'm an incredibly good faker; seemingly I appear just all right on the outside, but my mind is racing all over the galaxy on the inside. I need to find myself in God again, and give over every aspect of my to Him. That's just really tough for a chemistry major--we like to take control of our reactions. Increase heat, speed up reaction, I determine how much reactants to put in, I determine how much acid to put in the beaker. Surrendering is such a difficult task for someone like me. And I always thought I wasn't a control freak. How untrue that is, haha. But this is a process, not instant oatmeal Christian. I'm gonna get better, but takes some time

Current Location: The Den of Rogue -- aka my room
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: silence

Wow. I really like raiding Molten Core. That was crazy fun tonight in WoW. My guild, Darkfriends (sweet name huh?), did one of the more difficult dungeons today, called Molten Core, and I had an incredibly fun time. I got absolutely no gear whatsoever, but I had a good time, that's for sure. That took a grand total of 6 hours to get to where we did (we only downed 4 out of 10 bosses), and I'm pretty tired, but I don't really want to go to bed. Adrenaline rush. Haha. That's one of my rogue abilities. It was also great fun ganking any Ally punks who came into Blackrock Mountain with my friends' Dan and Andrew before the raid started.

Ahh, but now onto real life situations. I went to the opera Jordan was performing in "The Elixir of Love", on Friday and had a fantastic time. Very funny and beautiful music. It's not every day you get to see your girlfriend lift the lead tenor and carry him across stage alongside the entire female chorus. Haha, I'm very happy I went. (I suppose Jordan would have very much disliked me if I hadn't, too *sticks tongue out*)

Along with this, I had my first Smiley Face Cookie from Eat n Park on Saturday, and I consumed a few more today. So on Saturday I knew that Jordan would again be singing in the opera, and so I surprised her with Smiley Face Cookies after the Saturday performance. She told me somewhere in our travels that those cookies were some of her favorites, and brought back warm bubbly memories of childhood. Thought it would be a good way to get some + girlfriend-likes-me-a-lot points. I also in general have a big crush on her, so I thought I would do something nice. Don't tell anyone that I have a big crush on her though, cuz that would be totally weird if she found out.

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to read much for the English class tomorrow. I'll spend lunch and pre-class time reading, but yeah, I've pretty much had it with the class. Chemistry and biology and physics are the most important things now, and I really can't be bothered any more with silly professors who just really want to hear themselves talk. B grades for the win. I am incapable of thinking paradoxically and going beyond the theme--the most crucial aspect of any author's writing. There apparently is more to a book than the meaning and what the author wants us to realize in the characters. I don't know what it is, but it probably has something to do with the word "anachronistic", which is *still* a word people use in class, but I don't know what it means. O wells.

Yay for Thanksgiving break! Boo for studying for cell and molecular biology during Thanksgiving at Jeremy's house! Blarg.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue -- aka my room
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: *stealth mode*

So I just realized that the next cell and molecular biology test is on the Friday we get back from Thanksgiving, which is about two weeks away. I guess I'm going to be spending my days at Jeremy's house sitting in front of a textbook. Woot. . . *sighs* I'm reading the chapter right now on membrane structure and function, which is not much fun. What's even greater is the fact that my next analytical chemistry test is on the same friggin' day. I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I suppose I should try to talk to one of the professors and see if I can reschedule one of the tests, since there is absolutely no way in the Universe that I will be able to be prepared for BOTH of these science tests on the same day. Shall I move biology to a different day or chemistry to a different day? What do you think I'm going to do? Yup, that's right, push back the bio baby, because that's where the real pain lies. Yay! More than a hundred pages of textbook information to stuff into my brain. . . this is not going to be good. WAY too much information to digest. WAAAAY too much. At least I have two weeks of nonstop eating. O I hate school sometimes.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue -- aka my room
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: War Pigs/Luke's Wall -- Black Sabbath

So it is definitely true: I am getting absolutely fed up with my English class. I think it somehow is a combination of the comments the professor left on my Huck Finn essay, the general theme of discussion in the class, my scientific way of doing things, and the junk we are reading, but I am most certainly becoming very annoyed with this sad endeavor of academia. Never once have I been able to understand the discussion the professor puts forth--I am always attempting to decipher what people are saying, because most of the time it seems like just a bunch of words put into a sentence, mixed in with upper division vocabulary such as "subjectivity", "re-memeory", and "anachronistic". It's not so much the vocabulary, but the subject matter--I'm never going to understand. And I think I'm going to give up on trying to understand. This year has beeen a year of learning to do things on my own without the assistance of others, simply because other people tend to confuse me. What's more, the professor told me on my paper that what I wrote made sense, and that she agreed with my analysis of the text, but that what I did was too easy. Too easy?!?! *rolls eyes* Who cares if it's easy? It's a good analysis and makes sense! That's all you need. She then went on too tell me that I need to analyze things reductively and paradoxically. What teh bunjanuns does that mean? Seriously. I am going to continue analyzing literature the way I learned in AP English: imagery + diction + syntax = tone --> theme. Good equation, and it gets at what the author wants us to understand most deeply. I'm not going to discuss the validity of some esoteric English professor in Utah who had too much time on his or her hands, and so decided to conjure up some poop argument for the novel. Just not going to do it. And I am really, really tired of reading novels with the subject matter of women getting raped--it's really starting to bother me. Every other word is a sexual word, and in the end it's all a bunch of bunk how someone can think of this stuff as literary at all. This is now the end of my rant.

In other news, I am very happy because I no longer have to worry about impending tests this week. Simply have to do my homework, get it done, turn it in, come to lectures, then repeat, reuse. Lately in WoW I have discovered a fantastic way to make money: potion making! Make frost oil at 2 gold a pop, and you can make a nice little sum rather quickly. Or elixir of the mongoose which is 3 gold a pop, but slightly more expensive in terms of time to make. Major healing potions, too. I really need to learn to make major mana potions, but that recipe has never dropped before. Someday I'll have my epic undead horse mount. Only need to make a million more potions and sell them, too.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: Silence yet again

Right now I am extremely tired, so tired because I woke up at 7:30 am to go to a surprise breakfast for my friend Abbie, who needed some cheer back in her life. Surprises always do that. But I have to meet a lab partner in 30 minutes to do a lab report together, which shouldn't take very long, but it does retract from my ability to nap right now. Alas and alack(en) <---- still don't know if the "en" is necessary, but just in case, and for someone to smile, I'll put it in parentheses, demonstrating my elite lack of knowledge on this subject.

So the uber mage/warlock who wanted to duel me never got on last night. Whom shall I duel? Tostadinator or Aegrus? Yes, I heard he's back in town. ZOMG 5/8 tier 2 warlock of doom! haha, I can still pwn you, Drew. Keep you stunlocked into next Thursday. The daggers are much better now by the way, but I still have no epics. Over winter term this will probably change.

Think I'm gonna relax for 20 minutes before walking over the sci cent for chemistry stuff.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: devious
Current Music: silence, so peaceful

Argh. I am so tired of studying for science tests. Day in. Day out. Never endingly. I guess it only gets worse, sooner rather than later, too, since I'm taking the MCATs next spring. Blarg. I now know everything that can be known about spectrometry--atomic, molecular, ask me anything, I can give an answer.

Did you know that there are three reasons why some molecules fluoresce better than others? I'll tell you what they are:

1. Rigiidty -- molecules that have a lot of steric hinderances and aromatic rings to support them are rigid and good fluorophores.
2. Structure -- molecules that have a several uncongutated, pi systems (aromatic rings) are good fluorophores; unconjugated heterocycles (ring with O or N or something else substituting a C) are good, too, just not as good, since substitution affects the wavelength emitted, and so might interfere with flurorescence.
3. Increasing temperature is bad. High concentration is good, but if you get too concentrated, then you have too much vibrational relaxation, and not enough emission.

See? I know everything. . . Ok, I don't know everything. That's why I'm waking up early to go over the stuff again. I really hope I did well on that biology test last week. We get our grades tomorrow after lecture. It appears that everyone I've talked to is really concerned. Should I be? I actually felt really confident on at least 80% of the exam. We'll see I suppose. As Jordan put it to me today during dinner, I did my best, worked my bum off, and that's what counts in the long run. Truth--I just need to pass! Phew. I'm sure I will. Things should be good if I got a B on the test, and I think I did that at least. Anyways, I should probably try to sleep. I don't get much of that anymore. >.>

Woot! Tomorrow night is WoW night for me! And the guild is doing nothing. The only night I can raid, and they plan no raids. *shakes head melancholy*

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Anchor -- Lifehouse

Today was a very agreeable day (do forgive me, for I am writing this in the very early hours of the 7th, but I am referring to the 6th). Despite the fact that I am extremely tired due to the fact that I haven't gone to bed before 1 am for the past 6 or so days now, nothing in my life could be better. I have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who pokes me and laughs at all my silly jokes, grades and schoolwork are in general beginning to go well, and I'm happy about where I am spiritually. I'm growing more and more into Christ, and He continues to shed light on new aspects of His nature and what He has in store for me. It's awesome to say the least.

But the day went well despite all sorts of craziness popping up. I've had discussions with several people from my cell and molecular biology class, and it appears that most people are REALLY hopping that there will be a generous curve on the last exam--something like 80% of the class didn't finish in the allotted 50 minutes, but needed another 35 sitting on the ground in the lab finishing up. That says something to the profs I hope: that they need to reexamine how they organize cell and molec--too much in there for a single sitting. But since I felt good about the test, I'm feeling confident that I did very well. This I hope, but we'll see.

My lab partner for the gas chromatograph experiment vanished into thin air. I need him to do the lab report since he has all the data. I'm thankful Ms. Whelan is very understanding. She's going to give me an additional week from the time I get the GC data from my partner, whenever he comes around. *sighs*

English class was way weird--I don't think I understood a single thing that the prof talked about--way too esoteric and over my head. Something about modernism and subjectivity. I think from now on I'm going to stay as far away from upper-division English classes that I can. Way too much complexity for my simpleton biochemist mind to fathom. */end sarcasm* (Reality check: These English majors people need to come back to a good ol' place I call planet Earth and look at the text and what the author is talking about, not how language can't really get at the truth, and how we need a better medium to extract knowledge from mind to mind--welcome to Earth, English majors.)

Tomorrow morning I'm going to go buy the first season of House MD from WalMart because Amazon was going to take something like the whole week to just start shipping the dang package to me here in Oberlin. That's way weird for Amazon, but I'd rather go buy it for the same price at the WalMart than wait a few weeks for the thing to come.

Hmm. . . guess that's about it. Sleep sounds like a good idea right about now. Think I'm going to look into that.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: Get Me Outta Here -- Jet

I would just like to say Wikipedia For The Win. That is all.

Ok, I'll reveal what I mean by this. So, while I've been studying for cell and molecular biology, I've run into many instances where I simply just don't know what a certain word means, and I don't have the time to search through the biology textbook, flipping pages looking for one specific short thing in a tiny paragraph. On a whim, I plugged "in situ hybridization" into Wikipedia, and BAM! it gave me a definition and how it is used in labs. This is so flippin' awesome. YES! Happy.

Besides this, I got a B on the biology lab skills quiz, which made me very happy. The professor is starting to treat me like I know what I'm doing, too, which makes me very pleased. And my lab partner quit the class, so the prof said that I can work alone for the next few labs, making me esctatic, since I generally do NOT like working with other people on lab stuff. Goes much more smoothly if I run solo--may take a little longer, but the data will be good.

So I should probably get back to taking the practice exams, and getting the answers right! O yeah, totally going to get an A this time.

*stealth mode*

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Disarm -- Smashing Pumpkins

So I'm trying to finish putting the stuff I need into my biology lab notebook, but I have no desire to finish it. I have an overarching desire right now to drop everything having to do with school, and play video games, followed by sleeping in really late. This however, I fear, would be extremely detrimental to my current status regarding school, which has been going well for the past few days, despite the fact that I'm working my bum off way harder than I have ever before in college. Yes, it's true. Today I spent the entire afternoon reading my textbook, taking notes, and it helped a lot, but I'm really tired of reading textbook information regarding protein synthesis, gene regulatory elements, blahdy blah blah biology stuff. Way too much information to keep intact in any normal human brain. I wonder if people who pass the course with an A have a robot brain or something. I suppose it's possible. Ahhh, tired, so very tired. Or maybe I'm not tired--I don't feel exhausted, I feel like all the fun of life has been sucked away (and when I say fun, I mean vege time, WoW time, just time to have nothing hovering over me to do work-wise)--I'm constantly working, never ending. It's slightly annoying, but I'm always locked in my room, whilst my housemates are having fun so it seems. Maybe they're just procrastinating. They also need to do the dishes. >.> Like that'll ever happen before I clean them. *rolls eyes* Toodles, I should return to practice problems.

Current Location: The Den of Rogue--aka my room
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: New Frontier -- Iron Maiden